Have Yourself A Neddy Little Christmas
by Pop the day
Summary: A NDSSG Christmas story. Ned and Moze compete in wreath selling, Cookie is put in charge of directing the school Christmas pagent, it's pretty much like any corny Christmas special ever made! Except with Ned's!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, I figured that I wrote a Halloween story, I might as well write a Christmas story! Think of this story as serving as a Christmas special to the short story saga "Ned's Declassified High School Survival Guide" I'm also writing (so you might want to read a little bit of that first). I guess since NDSSG never got to do a Christmas special you could consider this the definitive Ned Christmas story (unless there are any others on this site, but I'm much too lazy to check).**

_Have Yourself a Neddy Little Christmas_

The first few months of the school year have a mixed reaction to everyone. You either love it or hate it. But you still can't help that in the days between Halloween and Thanksgiving the one thing you can't help but anticipate even though it feels so far away and when Thanksgiving finally comes it hits you like a ton of bricks the next day: the Christmas holiday season. Ned Bigby was always one to try and bring the Christmas spirit to everyone he could. Even if it was something as subtle as wearing a Santa hat to school or even going as far as to bring a fake mini Christmas tree to school to put on his desk during every class, Ned loved the holidays. When he heard early in the year that Michael S. Dukakis High School does a number of Christmas fundraisers, he jumped at the opportunity as soon as the time came. For years, every school year round Christmastime, Dukakis does an annual fundraiser: selling holiday wreaths. Since Mr. Mosely got tenure in 1984, he had been the head if the wreath sales. It is always one of his favorite times of the school year; it surprised him that he's worked the wreath sales so long. Back in 1984, he was married a little over two years and had no kids, next thing you know you have two kids and you've been married for 23 years and you've been teaching at the same exact school in the same exact classroom for 26. A few days after the Thanksgiving weekend, Mr. Mosely made an announcement on the loudspeaker during homeroom to inform the students if they wanted to sell wreaths to meet in his classroom after school.

As soon as the last bell rang, Ned darted to the classroom. Usually only 20 students sign up to sell wreaths and it wasn't too different this year. Only a few freshmen signed up to sell wreaths, just him, Lisa and Coconut Head signed up to sell wreaths… so he thought.

"Wejust need to wait a few more minutes to see if anybody else shows up." Mr. Mosely said and Moze came into the room.

"Hi, daddy," Moze said hugging her dad and sitting down next to Ned.

"I guess you're obligated to sell wreaths." Ned whispered to her.

"Not necessary, my dad wants me to sell but I still…"

"Okay, so, here we go: the 2007 wreath sale." Mr. Mosely began. "Every year, as we have for years, we ask you students who come to sell holiday wreaths to help raise money for school events within the next couple months. We're ordering 1,000 wreaths to sell; you are required to sell 25 wreaths. I understand that we'll be left with extras but if we sell a majority of the wreaths, we'll have enough money to pay for the lights at the football games and for set building for the school plays and all that jazz. So, you can take your sales books on the way out, put your names down and I'll see you all next week to see how many wreaths you've sold."

Mr. Mosely gave everybody their sales books. Ned and Moze walked down the hall.

"So how many do you think you'll sell?" Ned asked.

"Who knows really? Every year it changes for everybody."

"Well," Ned stuck out his hand, "may the best man win."

Moze cleared her throat.

"May the best salesperson win." They shook hands.

**I know it's abnormally short, but its 11:47pm on December 1, 2007 as I type this and I want to get it up by midnight so I still have 24 days to write.**

**Next time: Where the hell is Cookie? We'll find out. And how are Ned and Moze going to do competing with each other in wreath sales? And what will they get each other for Christmas? Next chapter posted some point next week.**


	2. Chapter 2

In the school auditorium, the stagehands for the school plays were hard at work on the sets for the school Christmas pageant. Cookie was one of these stagehands but if anybody who's a stagehand at Dukakis knows: Cookie and a hammer do not go well. Cookie just simply observed and gave his perspective on set pieces and checked if everything was in proportion. Javier Abrams (**A/N: see "Ned's Declassified High School Survival Guide"**) was trying to measure about a foot of wood for a set piece, they really had no idea what the hell they were doing for the pageant but they might as well have everything they'd need. Unfortunately for Javier, they didn't have enough wood for a foot so Javier sent Cookie out to go talk to scenic direction of the pageant, Mr. Borland (as in Al Borland from _Home Improvement_ who has become a teacher at Dukakis in the years after _Tool Time_), about getting more wood, which he probably had with him.

Mr. Borland was on of the phone at the moment, talking to the director of the pageant on the phone.

"Listen, Al, I've got some bad news." The director said, he wasn't the same one who directed the regular school plays, but had enough skillfulness to fill in when the regular director was planning the spring musical.

"What's the problem?"

"Well, the community theater gave me an offer to do _Little Shop of Horrors_ in January. What with the auditions and rehearsals, I'm going to have to leave the directing position for the pageant."

"What? You can't we open in 3 weeks!"

"Well, the pageant is a pretty low-key thing anyway, more of a Christmas cabaret, you'll find somebody."

"Okay, well, thanks away, Artie."

"No problem, Al."

Mr. Borland hung up the phone and shouted to the stagehands backstage. "Okay, guys, I usually wouldn't do this but I need someone to direct the Christmas pageant, any takers?" No one backstage heard him but Cookie came out asking for more wood. "Uh… Mr. Borland we…" Cookie began.

"Simon Nelson-Cook! Thanks for volunteering!"

"Volunteering… heh, volunteering for **what**?"

"Directing the Christmas pageant! The balls in your court, what do you want to do for this?"

Cookie thought for a second… _Wow! Directing the Christmas pageant, this is an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. _"I'll think about it… I guess." Cookie told Mr. Borland.

Around this time the next day, another Christmas-related school function was going on. Secret Santas, like the wreath sales, were an annual tradition at Dukakis except Secret Santas were more personal and intimate than selling wreaths around town, of course Ned was going to make our main three sign up for the program. Mr. Monroe was the one running this program, he asked everyone to sign their names on slips of paper and put them in a fishbowl, Mr. Monroe shook the bowl around a bit and then and handed the bowl to people to pull out names. Eventually the bowl got to Ned; he took a piece of paper out and gave the bowl to Cookie and so on and so on.

"So who do you need to get a gift for?" Cookie asked.

"I'm about to look." Ned said. He unfolded the piece of paper to see that was going to be a Secret Santa to… _Jennifer Mosely_. He gave the paper to Cookie who got a good laugh out of it. "Hey, shut up!" Moze had gotten the fishbowl by now and as fate would have it, she ended up becoming a Secret Santa to _Ned Bigby_. Moze was on the other side of the room and she looked at Ned with a big grin and walked over to him. "So, who are you a Secret Santa to?" she asked.

"Um… some sophomore, you wouldn't know him." Ned said. "You?"

"Oh, someone you wouldn't know either."

By this time in the wreath sales (only a day), no one had necessarily sold anything yet, but Ned and Moze were ready to start as soon as they could. Only side effect to this however – no team wreath sellers. Moze had already sold one wreath, bought by her parents; Ned had done the same thing but he figured Moze would kind enough to leave a few houses in the neighborhood; he spent most of the after school hours decorating his house with his dad.

"So when are we getting a tree, Dad?" Ned asked his father.

"Not yet, Ned." Mr. Bigby stated. "We need to wait till the 15th, that's a Saturday and 10 days before Christmas, we'll get it then like we always do." Ned ran to the window right in front of his house and saw Moze walking from house to house selling wreaths. "Hah, look at her." Ned addressed towards his sister Kaitlyn, who was trying to watch TV. "Selling wreaths, no one's interested this early in the month but in the days right before the sale ends, they'll be all over it."

"Uh… Ned," Kaitlyn began, "It's the end of November, people are clamoring to get wreaths before December 1, and I bet Jennifer's getting tons of sales out there."

"We'll just see about that…"

Ned stepped out of his house for a moment to go across the street to watch Moze try to sell wreaths. She was just walking away from a house.

"Hey, Ned, out selling wreaths I take it?"

"No, I was here to watch you try and sell."

"Well, I was about to go home but…"

"Oh, your going home, how many wreaths have you sold so far?"

"Besides my parents, I've sold about 6 wreaths already."

Ned didn't see it coming… she sold 7 wreaths in less than 2 days. He had some serious competition on the block for this wreath sale and he'd still need to find a Christmas gift for her to boot!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Still have a bit of a writer's block, I'm afraid; I'm going through hell trying to write this. I'm probably just going to focus on this Christmas story for now, so all readers of "Ned's Declassified High School Survival Guide" will have to hold off for a little bit.**

When Moze got back to her house, she went up to her room and lay down on her bed staring at the ceiling. She was deep in thought…

_What should I get Ned for Christmas? Well… I need to get him a present from me and the Secret Santa present. Oh my god, this is hard. I guess I'll concentrate on the Secret Santa present for now. I guess that could be a little bit more low-key… $20 at most. Don't want to spend too much on it. He won't even know it's my gift until we give them to each other on the day before break. Oy… this is gonna bother me now._

She decided to look her window into Ned's room; maybe if she got a peek in she'd get an idea. He was out trying to sell wreaths; no one would notice her looking in. She glanced at whatever she could from her window. One thing she did notice, Ned's room was a mess, what with all the goofy novelties he has. But Ned didn't have any shelves in his room, so it was obvious that his room was such a mess. Then it hit her… "I'll get him a bookcase! That'll be perfect!"

"Hey Moze, who you talking to?" Ned asked out loud to her, walking from the side of his house to face her window.

"Uh… nobody, you didn't hear any of that… I… I hope…"

"Only 'that'll be perfect,' what will be perfect can I ask?"

"No, you can't ask, it's something that doesn't have anything to do with you."

"Okay then, so I just sold a ton of wreaths!"

"Really, how many?'

"About 12."

"Wait a minute; please don't tell me you sold to the whole block."

"No, no, I left a few houses for you, I'm not that harsh. Good luck."

Ned went back into his house. Moze went back deep into thought…

_Whoa, looks like I do have some competition, you know what? I'll let him sell, I have my ways around the system, I'll have 30 in due time._

Meanwhile, the Christmas pageant… now being directed by Cookie, was beginning to form.

"Yo, Mr. Borland, I have some new ideas for the Christmas pageant." Cookie told Mr. Borland.

"What do you have for us, Simon?"

"Well, according to Wikipedia, a Christmas pageant is a play about the Nativity of Jesus. So, this might be a bit of a stretch but… can we do the Nativity story?"

"I don't know Simon; Bible stories are a bit of an iffy subject matter…"

"What about _The Passion_?"

"_The Passion of the Christ_ is a movie; everyone goes to a movie, with a school pageant your appealing to a specific group… namely the students of Dukakis. If the slightest thing goes wrong with a Nativity play, the school board will be all over us."

"So… does this mean we should try a few other ideas?"

"What else to you have?"

"We could try and get the rights to do _A Christmas Carol_."

"If I want to see an adaptation of _A Christmas Carol_, I'll watch the Muppet version."

"Oh, you're cultured."

"Listen, I'll talk to Principal O'Reilly about doing the Nativity story and maybe, I repeat, maybe, he'll consider letting us do that. But don't get your hope up, if I know Principal O'Reilly, he'll pull some routine to try and make a big fuss out of it."

"Cool, thanks Mr. Borland!"

"Alright, no problem, Simon, but don't get your hopes up."

A little later in the day, Mr. Mosely was decorating the Mosely residence with holiday lights and such. Moze was out at the moment struggling to sell wreaths, Ned and Cookie happened to be walking by when they saw him struggling to put up lights.

"Oh, hi boys." Mr. Mosely said struggling to get a string of lights to the wall.

"You need help?" Ned asked.

"Well, I think I have everything under control." Mr. Mosely responded immediately before falling off the small ladder he was on.

"I think you do." Ned said.

For a short period of time afterwards, the three were spending time setting up the decorations around the exterior outside the house until finally they were pretty much finished and head inside.

"Mr. Mosely, can I use your bathroom?" Ned asked.

"Sure, you know it's up…"

"Yeah, yeah, upstairs second door to the left."

Ned went upstairs, Cookie followed him.

"Why are you following me?"

"I don't feel comfortable around Mr. Mosely alone."

Ned gave Cookie a brief blank stare and walked away muttering "You're such an idiot" under his breath.

Ned was about to head into the bathroom when he saw that Moze's bedroom door was open. "Should I close it?"

"Um… isn't that common sense?"

"Well, I'm still stumped about what to get her for the Secret Santa thing; maybe I'll get some ideas."

Ned promptly went into the room trying to be unnoticed.

"She's not going to like this." Cookie said in fear.

"Relax; we won't be in here long." Ned said and next thing he knew he slipped on a volleyball and he noticed sporting goods all over the floor. "Geez, what a mess this is, she should really get a sports equipment holder or something. That's it!"

"What's it?"

"That's what I'll get her as a Secret Santa gift! A sports rack… or however you want to refer to it as…"

"What the?"

"It could work."

**Next time: Ned and Moze receive the gift of friendship and rivalry and Cookie tries to fight the system with his Christmas pageant ideas.**


	4. Chapter 4

While Moze was out and about trying to sell wreaths, Ned went to Larry's Sports Shack in hopes of finding some sort of storage equipment for sporting goods.

"Well, if it isn't Ned Bigby," Larry said somewhat shocked "Here without Jennifer, I'm surprised."

"I know, it's so great." Ned responded sarcastically. "Anyway, you wouldn't happen to have any form of storage equipment, would you?"

"You mean just to put in a fitness room?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I've got something. Come with me."

Larry brought Ned over to a stand with a series of shelves with sporting goods on them. "Here you go, your standard sports storage rack. It's a row of shelves to hold balls, a little slot for pool sticks and such and this goes for about $50."

"You've got yourself a deal, Larry." Ned said pulling into his pocket, then he realized. "**$50**?"

"Yeah, it's a big kit."

Ned wasn't sure, he only had a limited amount of money to buy Christmas gifts for his friends and family, and $50 would be way too expensive for what he had to spend for 5 people.

"Would it be possible to give me a discount?"

"Right before Christmas? I wish I could but I really shouldn't."

"OK, I'll be back, don't worry, I'll find a way to make $50."

"Don't worry, Ned, I'll keep it on hold for you!"

"Thanks, Lar!"

Meanwhile, at the school auditorium, Cookie was barking orders at the usual set builders for the Christmas pageant. They were in the middle of building a manger, Cookie never got the official OK to do the Nativity story for the Christmas pageant. Mr. Borland walked into the auditorium with a hesitant look on his face.

"OK, guys! You're not building a house! You're building a manger! Work! Work! Work!" Cookie yelled.

"Simon, could I talk to you for a second?" Mr. Borland said.

"OK, fine!"

Mr. Borland took Cookie aside.

"So I talked to Principal O'Reilly and he doesn't really want you guys to do an entire play around the Nativity story?"

"Why not?"

"Well, the Nativity story isn't exactly the most suitable story for an audience that'll most likely consist of all religions."

"But… but…"

"Movie… school pageant… a bit of a difference. What'd I tell you?"

"Well, I guess we can try and few of my other ideas."

"What else do you have?"

"Why don't we try and do _A Christmas Carol_ like I said?"

"Good luck… the pageant's in a week. Everyone already has their scripts and you'd really have to work non-stop to do _A Christmas Carol_."

"Good thing I have the book with me." Cookie pulled the book out of a bag.

"What's that going to do?"

"Uh…" Cookie darted over to the stage and gave the book to Javier. "Javie, read this line for me."

"Sure thing!" Javier said. "A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!"

Cookie briefly stared at Javier then yelled out loud. "We've found our nephew Fred!"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, Javier Abrams,** YOU **are our Nephew Fred. Anybody else want to read?"

All the other techies backed away from Cookie and Javier.

"Well, I see this production is going to shape up nicely." Mr. Borland said sarcastically.

"I know, isn't it great?" Cookie said.

"Simon, I was being sarcastic but I'll try my best to trust you in this."

"Don't worry, Mr. Borland, this'll be the best damn Christmas pageant you've ever seen!"

By this time that had passed in the day, Moze was done selling wreaths, she sold 20 more! 32 wreaths, she doesn't even need to sell anymore so she decided to concentrate on getting a bookcase. She went to Barnes & Noble, it was a shot in the dark, but hey, maybe they actually do have bookcases.

"Hi, do you happen to sell bookcases?" she asked a clerk at the store.

"Actually, in the back we do." The clerk said, taking her to the back of the store where there were quite a few bookcases. "What size do you need?"

"Preferably something small but useable."

"Well, this is what you need." He placed his hand on a smaller drawer-like bookcase. "This is the smallest we got."

"Thank you, how much is it going for?"

"On sale, $50."

"What? And it's on sale."

"Yeah, these things don't just grow on trees you know."

"They are made of wood."

"Oh, man… you just defied me."

"Listen, I'll have $50 for you soon enough. I only have a limited amount of money to buy on gifts; this is just a Secret Santa thing."

"Fine, it'll probably still be here in a few days, just try and find me $50 and we'll get this bookcase to you."

_**TBC**_


	5. Chapter 5

Ned knew what he'd have to do to get $50. He ran to Gordy's apartment and did what any regular human being would do.

"Gordy! I need $50!" Ned yelled barging in.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold your horses, Ned! Now I make $40 a… week. I can't just go giving everybody my money. Why do you need it?"

Ned went on to tell Gordy all about everything from Secret Santas to the sports rack and the $50 that he needed for it.

"So, essentially, you need $50 for a gift for Christmas for Moze?"

"You pretty much summed it up, yeah."

"Well, Ned, you realize I need to get my family gifts, too. And how much do I make a week?"

"$40."

"So I need as much money as I can get, so I can't necessarily give anything away. Sorry, pal."

"No problem, thanks Gordy."

"But what you **COULD **do is pawn something you own of an abnormally large value to get the money you need."

"Like _Gift of the Magi_?"

"Gift of the who-whatty?"

"It's a short story by O. Henry."

"Oh, Henry. The guy who works at the deli?"

"No, he's… forget it, that's a good idea, I'll do that."

"Go to the deli?"

"No, find something to pawn."

"Oh, hey, I have a good idea! I'm on a roll!"

Now Ned had to find something that he had of any value. Maybe he had toys when when he was younger that were worth a fortune now but it was almost Christmas and he didn't have time to go into the attic and look through older stuff. But he did have non-fiction reference-type books, many of which have been out of print for a number of years. Out-of-print books are always quite difficult to find. Maybe if he managed to sell his books he'd have $50 easy. He took the books he could find and brought them over to Barnes & Noble, where he talked to one of the dorky employees.

"Good afternoon, you guys sell used books, right?" Ned asked.

"Of course we do."

"Then how much do you think I could get for these books?" Ned gave the clerk about 15 hardcover books that were for the most part reference books and classic novels. The clerk analyzed them.

"These could get you $50 easy for these."

"That's great! You have yourself a deal!"

The clerk gave Ned $50 and Ned left the store yet he still felt a little sad. He had those books for the majority of his 14½ years and letting them go had to be tough, but he needed the $50 and he needed it bad, he knew it would be worth it in the end. At the same time, Moze was at Larry's Sports Shack trying to pawn just about every sporting good she had back to Larry.

"Listen, Jennifer, I can't take any my equipment back, you've had the stuff for too long. the warranty is up."

"I told you. Don't take it as a return; take it as me selling the stuff back to you."

"You're confusing me, why would I buy my stuff back?"

"No, I'm selling the stuff to you because I need money and this is my way of getting the money."

"Don't you kids do lemonade stands for that?"

"Larry, that's like… what people did to get money in the 40's, it's 2007! We're living in the eBay generation."

"Fine, I'll take the stuff."

Moze gave Larry everything she had on her. "This should average out to about $50."

"Perfect! Thanks!"

Larry gave Moze $50 and she walked out of the store, just as Ned was coming in.

"Wow, Ned, you going here without me dragging you here, I'm surprised… and curious." She said to him.

"Just getting something for that person I'm a Secret Santa to."

"Oh, well, that's sort of what I was doing, too."

"Ha, what a coincidence. See you later."

Moze went on her way and Ned gave the $50 bill to Larry.

"What is this? Just givin' me $50 out of nowhere?"

"No, of course not!" Ned said. "I need to buy that rack!"

"Oh, okay, right!" Larry went to go get the rack and then turned back to Ned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am."

"All right. Here you go, Ned."

"Thanks… and merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Ned!"

As fate would have it, Moze was doing the same thing at Barnes & Noble and finally purchased the bookcase. Both were so exstatic that they were able to find perfect Secret Santa gifts and still manage to find regular presents for each other and family. In another neck of the woods at the school auditorium, Cookie's version of _A Christmas Carol _was going anything but according to plan. No one had learned their lines and all the sets and props were far from finished and couldn't be finished by the date of the pageant.

"What it is?" Cookie yelled. "I keep asking for heartfelt emotion and you're giving me corny material!"

"You're going a bit over the edge with this." Mr. Borland said to him.

"Yeah, seriously," Suzie said from onstage. "I kind of miss the Nativity story; this is just going no where fast."

"Suzie, no one asked for your opinion." Cooke said.

"Hey, I'm in the show, too! I think I have a say, too."

The other actors responded with an assorted "Yeah!"

"Well, what do you want to do then?"

"I don't know!" Suzie said, "Something not as mind-numbing at the very least."

"Suzie's right," said Lisa, "There are so many better Christmas stories we could do. Everyone's done _A Christmas Carol_. I mean, the Muppets have done it, Mickey Mouse has done it, the Flintstones **AND **the Jetsons have done it, even Mr. Magoo did it! Can't you think of anything else?"

"Who's Mr. Magoo?" Cookie and Suzie both asked in unison.

"I actually don't know." Lisa responded.

"He was way before your time." Mr. Borland said.

Suddenly Lisa's words hit Cookie. _There are so MANY better Christmas stories we could do… _Cookie had an idea… a rather extravagant and most likely not well thought-out idea. He had a large grin on his face.

"Oh, no, he has the grin." Lisa said. "Chances are he has an idea that'll screw up the pageant."

"This'll do anything but screw up the pageant. Trust me." Cookie said. Everyone knew that if Cookie said "trust me," this was going to screw up the pageant.

While Cookie causes hell, let's go back to Ned selling wreaths. Ned is getting very close to his maximum, just 4 more. The wreaths were being delivered that Tuesday and he needed to sell 4 fast. He presumed Moze hadn't sold to everyone in the neighborhood and that he'd still have a chance, but every door he went to he got a "Sorry, Ned, I already bought one from Jennifer." Ned was furious, he needed to sell 30 yet he had a block at the 26 mark. He wasn't nessarly mad at Moze or himself but he just worked so hard to try and get 30 but now he's failing. He head back home, Moze was already on his front porch waiting for him. She was the last person Ned wanted to see.

"You got 30?" she asked.

"No… you know why? Because everyone is saying they got wreaths from you!"

"Hmm… didn't think I sold that many."

"**That **many? Hah-hah, **that many**? Pretty much every house I went to said they already bought a wreath from you! You have 32, I really don't think you need all those wreaths do you?!"

"Ned, calm down, actually…"

"Oh, I suppose you sold a few more?"

"Sort of, but…"

"Yes, you, Charles and Courtney Mosely's second offspring has to sell as many wreaths as possible since everyone in town knows her parents!"

"Ned, your spazzing. Can I talk?"

"If you insist."

"Well, I did go to one house a few days ago, but they weren't home so I left them a note. They called me and said they wanted 4, I said I'd go over within the next couple days, but I never did. When I got 32, I figured I'd leave it someone else. You take them!"

"Oh, Moze," Ned was so excited he hugged her. "You're a godsend. What's the address?"

"Uh… 2121 Granate Lane."

"Yes! Thank you."

Ned went to the house and managed to convince them to buy 4 from him. He finally did it: he had 30. He was in the clear. Now he had all the time to concentrate on gift-giving and the Christmas holiday with loved ones.

**Next time: Cookie's Christmas pageant will confuse the students more than entertain while Ned and Moze finally get their Secret Santa gifts to each other. Final chapter presumably to be posted on Christmas Eve or early Christmas day.**


	6. Chapter 6

The day was finally here, Christmas Eve. Cookie's top-secret pageant and director debut was tonight and Ned and Moze were finally going to exchange their presents, on both the standard and Secret Santa fronts. Ned walked over to her house an hour or so before the pageant was due to start with both the presents he got for Moze. Mr. Mosely promptly let Ned in; Moze was already downstairs watching some Christmas special, Ned couldn't really tell which one it was. It almost looked like _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ but he was at an angle from the TV.

"Oh, hey, Ned. Merry Christmas!" she said.

"Merry Christmas," he responded. "I finally have presents for you."

"Great!"

Ned pushed the 2 gifts towards her. "I'd open the smaller one first. That's your gift definitely from me."

Moze opened the smaller present; it was the Broadway cast recording of _Hairspray_.

"Oh, Ned! Thank you!"

"Ha-ha, I figured since you liked the movie and you can't make it out to New York to see the real musical, I thought this would be the next best thing."

"Oh, this is up there with the real thing. But what's in that big box?"

"Oh, well, I was your Secret Santa and figured I might as well get you something special. Open it."

She opened it and picked up one of the shelves. "Ned, what the hell is this?"

"It's a rack to hold sports equipment. I got it at Larry's. Why don't you go put some stuff on it now?"

"Uh… Ned, I'd much rather prefer if you opened your presents first…"

Once again, Ned had a smaller box and a bigger box with the bookcase in it. He opened the smaller box first; it was a DVD of _Ratatouille_.

"Oh, _Ratatouille_! Thanks!"

"Yeah, I figured I'd get it but I thought you'd already have it considering you saw it 3 times."

"So what BIG present did you get me?"

"Oh, let's just say I was your Secret Santa, too."

"That's the craziest coincidence in the world."

He opened it and finally saw the bookcase. "A bookcase! Just what I wanted!"

"Now you have a place to put your books."

"If I had my books…"

"What?"

"Well, you see it's a long story but to sum things up: I sold my books to get money for that sports rack."

"Wow, I sold my sports stuff to buy you the bookcase."

"I feel like I'm in an O. Henry story."

"Well, I guess that **IS **what Christmas is about."

"Yeah, your right."

Just then, Cookie stormed into the Mosely's living room in a Santa Claus outfit holding two big boxes for his friends.

"Merry Christmas, guys!" he yelled.

"Merry Christmas, Cookie." Ned and Moze both said in unison.

"Don't think since I was occupied with the pageant I didn't get you guys anything."

"Of course, not," Ned said, "Shouldn't you be at the theater already."

"I still got time."

"Sure you do."

"Anyway, just open your presents, guys."

Ned and Moze opened their presents to find that their presents were the exact books Ned sold to the clerk at Barnes and Noble and all of Moze's sports equipment.

"Oh, Cookie!" Moze said. "You didn't have to do this!"

"I know, I know, but seeing my friends happy on Christmas is the best gift I could give. And now I have to get ready of the pagent. You guys will be there right?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Great!"

Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for: Cookie's epic Christmas pageant. As the students of Dukakis who came went into the auditorium, a large gong was on the stage. The Moselys and the Bigbys were front and center.

"Why is there a big gong on the stage?" Moze asked.

"It's Cookie, what do you expect." Ned said.

The auditorium went dark and someone hit the gong. Fog went through the stage and Javier walked out onto the stage and began reading a poem out loud…

"At Francis Allen's on the Christmas-eve,—  
The game of forfeits done—the girls all kiss'd  
Beneath the sacred bush and past away—  
The parson Holmes, the poet Everard Hall,"

"What the hell is going on here?" Ned whispered.

Javier continued on with reciting "The Epic" by Alfred Lord Tennyson. If you know your Tennyson, then you know that "The Epic" serves as a framing piece for "Morte d'Arthur" aka "The Passing of King Arthur". So, naturally, after "The Epic," Cookie put together a stage version of "Morte d'Arthur".

"He brought it; and the poet little urged,  
But with some prelude of disparagement,  
Read, mouthing out his hollow oes and aes,  
Deep-chested music, and to this result."

Javier stepped back as the set of King Arthur's castle came onto the stage and he continued again…

"So all day long the noise of battle rolled  
Among the mountains by the winter sea;  
Until King Arthur's table, man by man,  
Had fallen in Lyonnesse about their Lord,"

What Cookie had put together for this stage version was ridiculous. Spencer was King Arthur battling a lioness (literarily Lisa in a lion costume) and went on to talk about him putting Excalibur in the lake (in this case, throwing it into the auditorium) and Arthur's (much exaggerated) death. The audience was… surprised and didn't know what to think, they still gave a round of applause at the end. But this pageant was far from over. Cookie's pageant went through in some form, every possible Christmas story you could think of. For a few examples, let's use _The Grinch_, where in the titular character was a toy puppet with only a head who'd steal Christmas knick knacks by stuffing them in his mouth and walking away or how about _The Nutcracker_, a hodgepodge between the actual play and the part of _Fantasia _set to the Nutcracker Suite, nothing like having rats and mushrooms on stage at the same time. And last but certainly not least, _The Night Before Christmas_, told once again by Javier with Cookie as Mamma, Loomer as Santa and everyone who was in the cast as reindeer. All in all, it was a terrible pageant, but you didn't want to look away. It was acceptable and people stilled liked it, but you couldn't help but give Cookie an odd glance on your way out. Ned and Moze stayed in the auditorium after the show to wait for Cookie. Cookie finally came out from backstage and was first greeted by Mr. Borland.

"Simon, that was a… uh… I'm not really sure how to describe it." Mr. Borland said.

"I'm not sure how to describe it either." Cookie said.

"Seriously, Cookie, what was that?" Ned asked.

"A Christmas platter of stories you could say."

"Interesting." Moze said.

Mr. Mosely ran back into the auditorium.

"You guys aren't going to believe this!" he said.

"What?" the three all asked in unison.

"You have to come outside to see."

They all ran outside to see that in rare event in was snowing, in our town near San Francisco. For once, these Californians could see a white Christmas.

"Wow, this is incredible!" Ned said. "Merry Christmas, guys."

"Merry Christmas, Ned!" everyone out there responded and then broke into a Christmas carol outside the auditorium.

"_**W**__**e wish you a Merry Christmas;  
We wish you a Merry Christmas;**_

_**We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. **_

_**Good tidings we bring to you and your kin; **_

_**Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year.**_"

**Merry Christmas everybody and have a save and enjoyable tomorrow!**


End file.
